It didn't take me long to adjust to my new beginning/first full-time job/really being on my own for the first time. I was quite content with the way things had been going...that is, until several weeks ago, when life decided to throw me a monkey wrench.
It all began on Memorial Day. My boyfriend and I spent the holiday shopping at Short Pump Town Center. As we perused through various stores, I randomly started noticing lots of floaters and red and yellow flashes of light in my peripheral vision of my right eye. Despite the fact that my retinal specialist constantly warned me that these symptoms are a sure sign of another retinal hemorrhage (or worse), I shrugged it off as being paranoid, and continued shopping. Later that evening while out to dinner, I again noticed the symptoms, but yet again, decided to ignore them, convinced that I would sleep it off that night and wake up symptom free. Well, imagine my disappointment when I awoke the next morning and the first thing I noticed was a lighting bolt shaped flash of light in my eye. By this point, I had transitioned from blissfully ignorant to slightly concerned, so I did the adult thing to do and called my retinal specialist. After describing my symptoms, they scheduled an appointment for me with a specialist here in Richmond for the next afternoon. Upon heading to my appointment, I had already prepared myself to hear that I had relapsed and was suffering another retinal hemorrhage (I had the first one during my freshman year at JMU)....I would probably have to endure another round of Avastin injections in my eye, and maybe a few Visudyne (photodynamic) treatments, but I survived it before and now I knew what to expect, so this should be a cinch....or so I thought.
It turns out that the reason I was seeing all of those flashes of light was because I had experienced a retinal detachment, the doctor explained to me, and I would thus need to undergo surgery the next day.
Okay, so I wasn't ready for that news after all. Surgery?!?! I'm the girl who didn't get her wisdom teeth cut out because I was terrified at the thought of undergoing surgery (which was okay, b/c my orthodontist assured me that I had room for them to come in...what he didn't prep me for was how painful the "coming in" process is, but I digress). Anyway, since it was scheduled for the next day, I didn't really have time to stress out about it, which was certainly for the best.
I've rambled too much already so I will spare you the details of the surgery, but it went really smoothly and I've spent the past 2 weeks recovering. I was especially thrilled yesterday when I convinced my doctor to let me return to work tomorrow on a part-time basis. She replied with "Wow, you sure are motivated aren't you?!" considering the fact that the recovery process is supposed to take 3-4 weeks. But being the energetic and social person that I am, 2 weeks of being mostly confined to my apartment is about to drive me crazy! But anyway, the point of me telling you this lengthy story, (yes there actually is a point! haha), is not for you to feel sorry for me, but rather to serve as the backstory for the title of this post ("Be Thankful"). Admittedly, I laid around for the first couple of days after surgery feeling sorry for myself with the typical, yet pathetic, "why me?!" attitude. But being forced to lay around for 2 weeks provided lots of time for me to think and reflect upon things, and God quickly took the opportunity to change my mindset and help me realize how much I have to be thankful for. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to share with you several of the things that came to mind.
I'm thankful...
- that God knocked some sense into my stubbornly ignorant head and prompted me to go to the doctor in time before the detachment was so bad that I lost my eyesight forever
- for all of my wonderful family & friends and all of the thoughts and prayers that they sent my way before, during, & after my surgery
- for my friend who took off from work to drive me to my appointment, waited with me so I wouldn't have to nervously await a diagnosis from a new doctor at a new clinic in a new city by myself, did his best to make me laugh and cheer me up once I heard the news of my impending surgery, emailed everyone back at the office with a status report so I wouldn't have to break the news to them, drove me home, then drove me to my surgery the next day and again waited with me until they took me in for prepping
- for my boyfriend who spent countless hours helping to take care of me, keeping me company, and driving me to and from my follow-up appointments
- for all of the flowers, cards, phone calls, visits, food, etc. from my wonderful family & friends just to remind me how much they care :)
- for my coworkers that picked up my slack while I was out and took care of a lot of stuff in my absence so I won't be overwhelmed with work when I return tomorrow
- that the surgery went smoothly with no complications
- for so many blessings in my life that God has given me to be thankful for!
Isn't it awesome how God can take an overwhelming and difficult event and turn it into something so positive?! And while there are a million more things that I am thankful for, there's one more that I want to discuss here; I'm thankful for my eyesight.
Since I was a kid up until 2 weeks ago, I always wondered why I had to be the unlucky one with the thick glasses, special contacts, and the designation of being "one of the most nearsighted patients" at every eye doctor's office that I've ever visited. This used to really bother me and I dreamed of the day when I could have corrective surgery so that I could at least wear normal glasses and contacts. Now, don't get me wrong, I still hope to have the surgery one day, but my 2 weeks (and more to come) of being totally dependent on only one eye has given me a new perspective on things. At least I have the comfort of knowing that in several weeks, my eye will heal, and with an increased prescription, I should be able to see pretty well out of it again. But my temporary predicament has given me a whole new respect for how blind people go about their daily lives. I frequently found myself complaining about how bored I was just laying around my apartment with nothing that I could do besides sleeping, listening to music or audiobooks, or talking on the phone. Watching TV or movies was too strenuous on my good eye, and I found that even simple tasks require a certain level of depth perception that just one eye doesn't provide. And although over the past few days I've managed to walk safely to the post office, pharmacy, and library by myself, watching for traffic with limited peripheral vision can prove to be an interesting task. So if these things are this difficult and nerve-racking for me, I can't begin to imagine what a blind person endures in his or her lifetime. I know people say that your other senses learn to compensate for the loss of another, but I'm here to tell you that undergoing that transitional process is not as simple or painless as it may sound. So, now I realize that despite the fact that I may need thick glasses or special contacts in order to see, at least my vision is correctable. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would be more than happy to wear thick glasses, or any other visual aid that may be deemed socially unattractive, if it would only grant them the ability to see God's beautiful creation.
Anyway, getting back on topic, I'll wrap up by saying that I'm thankful that God granted me a speedy recovery and that I get to return to work tomorrow! On that note, I should probably be getting ready for bed soon, considering that I actually have a daily schedule to get used to following again. So I will leave you with a challenge....the next time you are faced with an unexpected hardship or bump in the road, try to take a moment or two to stop and reflect on the situation and see if you can find something to be thankful for. Chances are, once you find one thing, the list will just keep growing from there! :)Thanks for sticking around to read this ridiculously long post to the very end! Goodnight and God bless you! :)
