Reminiscing over fond Christmas memories

Christmas is almost here, which means that you, like me, have probably been bombarded with the popular question "Are you ready for Christmas?!" Whether it's asked by a teller at the bank, a co-worker, or a friend, it might be intended as a simple conversation starter or as a lighthearted inquiry as to whether you've finished your holiday shopping.  My typical response to this question has been along the lines of "Not yet! I'm a procrastinator and still have lots of gifts to buy!"  In past years, that was probably a fully accurate statement, however, this year, deep down there's a much bigger reason why I'm not ready...Sure, we made it through Easter, and Father's Day, and Thanksgiving, and every day in between. Some days have been harder than others, but we've made it. Now, with Christmas Eve upon us, despite having had 11 months to realize this holiday would eventually come and we'd have to experience our first Christmas without Dad, the reality has set in once again. Needless to say, the whole getting in the holiday spirit thing hasn't come easy this year.  I've tried listening to Christmas music, but eventually that reminds me of Dad and the fact that he's not here. Every time I head out to the stores to search for the "it" gifts that I hope my family and close friends will enjoy, I find myself coming across items that make me think "Oh, I bet Dad would have loved that!" and wishing that he was still here to give gifts to.

As I was wrapping presents after dinner last night, some fond memories of Dad popped into my head, as often happens several times throughout any given day. This time, I was reminded of past Christmases before Dad got sick, and the tradition that he and Jon had wherein they would head out on Christmas Eve Eve (sometimes a day or two earlier if they were getting an early start :) to brave the mall crowds together and pick out gifts for Mom and me. Then, because I was a super duper smooth snooper who always managed to find the gifts when they hid them in the garage...or bedroom closets....or [insert clever hiding place here], they began the tradition of stashing the gifts at the hardware store. Either that night, or on Christmas Eve morning/afternoon they would drive back down to the hardware store to wrap the presents, then would bring them home where they were no longer susceptible to my snooping abilities (I drew the line at upwrapping/rewrapping :P).

Mom and I spent most of this morning and some of this afternoon baking Christmas cookies...I made Christmas brownies and she baked her famous gingerbread cookies and orange balls, as well as snowball cookies. It's a fun (and tasty) Christmas tradition, with the difference being that this year, Dad wasn't here to taste the cookies fresh out of the oven like he always loved to do. Man, he loved baked goods, and whenever I decided to use the fam as my test subjects for my new recipe experiments, he was always a willing guinea pig. :)

Tomorrow morning is going to be tough, there's no question about that....For the first time in my and Jon's lives, and the first time in 35 years for Mom...Dad won't be there when we wake up on Christmas morning. He won't be there to watch and make his typical funny comments when we open gifts. I know he's always with us in spirit, but it doesn't make him not being here in person much easier.

But, my selfishness aside, I'm happy that Dad gets to spend his first Christmas in Heaven with Jesus, Grandma & Grandaddy, and everyone else up there! I'm sure it's amazing beyond our wildest imagination!  And I know he wouldn't want us to be sad on Christmas, so I'm gonna do my best to make the most of it. I'm still looking forward to spending the holiday with family, but it just won't be quite the same. I know many others are also experiencing their first Christmas without a loved one, and my heart and prayers go out to them.

But on a happier note, time to sign off to watch my absolute fave Christmas movie, Home Alone 2, with Mom & Jon! Then, I'm heading off to visit my cousin, her husband, and their adorable baby boy, before going to the Christmas Eve service at my family's church.

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a happy and blessed one! :)